quick update!! erg!

despite unflattering, itchy rashes & missing out on kentucky with sam and co., i still had a fantastic weekend with asmitha. we watched the debate/the office/pushing daises/grey's anatomy (which we just laughed at) and made smores by breaking fire regulations (haha, in your face, university safety rules!).

but i haven't had enough sleep in the past month, so i'm kind of feeling like a zombie, a very fat zombie (i eat when i can't sleep). i have periods when i feel awake and then very sleepy and then awake again and then sleepy. but then it gets to a point where i don't care if i sleep or not. and then i have dreams that are hard to distinguish from reality, like i'll dream that a paper, or deadline has passed and wake up kind of dizzy and confused and then an hour later realize it was just a dream.

ugh, worse feeling ever.

anyway, of course this semester is not shaping up to be anything i had hoped at the beginning, but i think i'm learning to adjust, at least reevaluating my goals and future. i'm just hoping for the best at this point... though i'm not even sure what the 'best' situation is anymore. i just hope it's not too far from my family and sam.

what i have come to terms with...

(Part 4: My vocal cords)

Yes, my voice is probably the most distinct part of me, or at least the part that has gotten the most comments from people. I think I became really conscious of it sometime during high school, when people would ask me if I was faking my voice. I would reply, 'No... Should I be?' It didn't really bother me up until the Mu Alpha Theta Tournament my school was holding. Nobody wanted to be the announcer, so like a good officer, I volunteered, which was most unfortunate. Many people during that tournament complained about how high-pitched my voice sounded over the PA system.

And I don't know what really got me into working at the station. It was probably because of all the music and plus Sam was having lots of fun there. It is a little strange that I chose to pursue something that would leave me naked with just my voice. Anyway, it has been a pretty sweet experience. I've been exposed to a ton of music and my sense of taste has definitely been tuned. And about the people who call in during my show, the 'response' to my voice has been fairly positive. There was only one person who called in to tell me that I sucked. But then I just told him that I would talk less, and then took a 5 minute talk break.

So what made me want to write this entry, you ask? Well... I got an aggravated voice mail from a lady named Eva, an angry Nashville resident, who while listening to my show had enough energy and passion to go to our website, get the telephone number and pick up the phone and call to tell me that my voice was 'babyish' and hope that I would be kicked off the air. When I first heard the message, I was livid. I was shaking, and I couldn't even write any more or do any work. And those of you who know me, I don't really express my angry very well -- verbally or emotionally. So I impulsively gave her a call (I should have hung up) and had a short chat with her. It went kind of like this:

Me: Hello, is Eva there?
Her: Yes, this is she.
M: Did you call WRVU on Thursday night to insult the DJ?
H: Um... Yes, I think so.
M: Well, I'm the music director here and you just insulted me. Do you know that we do this on a volunteer-basis? And obviously we are all here for the music, and we are not on the air to be talking about ourselves. And obviously, I can't really help speaking the way I speak.
H: Well you should get a voice coach.
M: Well I don't intend on singing or going into Radio.
H: Your voice is just irritating and you drop your constants.
M: Just to be sure, don't ever call one of our other DJs and think that you can insult them like that.
H: No, it's just you.
M: Your comment has been taken. Thanks.

So I shouldn't have called back, but I really couldn't help it... And I probably should have made up a story about how I lost my voice when somebody tried to choke me to death and after 20 years of rehabilitation I was finally able to talk again. Yeah right.... Then oddly enough we talked about Anger Management in Health Psychology and practiced "relaxation techniques" (oh brother...)

Anyway, it's really strange because it's hard to judge my own voice and hear what others hear when they listen. I hope that if I have offended you in some way with the pitch, tone or the way I speak, I apologize, but I really can't help it. But if I had a chance to change it, I don't think I would. It's something unique I have, and I guess I'll just have to deal with people, who have problems with it. And remember that it's just a petty thing that they are trying to do -- what are the point of insults to strangers anyway?

I just wonder if my voice has had an effect on who I'm friends with and what I do. I mean obviously, if it hurts to listen to me, you'd obviously not want to be my friend. Anyway, that little voice mail made me really feel terrible, but I think after writing about it, I see how stupid the whole event really was. I'll just not call back the next time that happens and like Daniel said, try to not let it get under my skin, though that might be tough -- I'm a pretty sensitive person when it comes to things like this.

Record Excitement!

Let this weekend be to working hard and gettin' stuff done!

Though I haven't been to a very good start... I just spent $35 on records this morning (Shoot!). Through they are fantastic records. I got the Supremes, which is a guilty pleasure of mine, as well as the Marvelettes. I have such a strange fascination with girl groups from the late 50s to early 60s... They are so good, but they all talk about the same things in their songs, which is sex/boyfriends. I guess it's amusing how many different innuendos they use to say, 'hey, we're doing it tonight!' Oh, I just wonder how it was like being a girl during those days...

Then I got some down home country/folk stuff. Two records from Smithsonian Folkways, which is a fantastic record label/institution. They really know their stuff, so it's something I can trust -- I know that whatever record I end up getting, it'll be interesting/good. I already have compilation by them, and I bought an Elizabeth Cotten record for my sister. Also, a best of Hank Williams, who is my most favorite country singer, well ok, that's not completely true...

I fell in love with a song from the McDonald's commercial over the summer... cheesy, I know. So I picked up the "Best of Os Mutantes," which I am listening to right now. They are from Brazil, but surprisingly, they dabble in a variety of genres from Bossa Nova to Psychedelic Rock and languages. It's very interesting, and they do it in a tasteful way, so I'm excited!!!!!



So off to working now. Until I can write again!

my weekend....

Yes, so I just wanted to say a few things before I begin to study once again (ARG):

1. I am glad that my parents and my sister are safe after Ike. My sister just put up pictures online, and it looks pretty devastating on campus. There were trees everywhere, non-functioning bathrooms, boarded up windows. What a way to start off the school year...

2. Thank you for this weekend... very, very much. We went to the state fair, and it was so much fun, though we didn't get a chance to watch the racing pigs or 'ride the pigs' -- we missed it by like 30 seconds. At first, it was a lackluster beginning (we found out that a ferris wheel ride costs $5), but we found stuff that was relatively cheap. We saw a giant pumpkin, a giant rabbit, a giant inflatable ship, and a giant hot beef sundae + funnel cake. All of it was amazing. There were also lots of things to pet there, like camels, llamas, alpacas, little pigs, goats... Though it was a little bit stinky. We went to Charlie's place later on and played cards, which I just suck at in general, but it was a lot of fun. We spoke to Bethany for about an hour and that was nice.3. I hate how self-congratulatory my generation is. And the only reason I say this is because this is what I heard today:

A: "Oh my goodness, that's such a great way of cutting a tomato"
B: "Oh, yeah... that's brilliant!"
C: "Definitely, I am brilliant!"
A: "Just brilliant."
B: "Ditto...brilliant."

I mean it's ok to give yourself a pat on the back, but when you just keep reinforcing a very slight and trivial achievement, your ego may explode. Personally, I'm always really hesitant to take compliments from others and much, much less from myself, though this end of the spectrum isn't good either. But at least my ego will fit in my head!

ANXIETY!

Oh goodness gracious. I feel like I'm going to die from exhaustion/stress. The school year has already gotten off on a most terrible start. Well first of, who decided that Monday was a good day to start of a school year? Then coming back to the station was too crazy -- I worked there most of today. Lab is crazy too -- my microbial frustrations will never end! Then my big dance party was a terrible endeavor. And also an everyday reminder that I don't have any more of my music left. It seems just like an endless stream of bad luck to me, I mean if I start off wrong, the rest of the year goes wrong. And just think of the things that are ahead: applications, tests, school work... oh no... I don't think I could take all of that rejection/failure at once.

Anyway, my classes are fun, I enjoy 2 out of 3. I especially like my Egyptian Art Class and Horace. Today we read some fragments of Archilochos, an early Greek poet and this is what he had to say:

From "Fragments of Archilochos" trans. by Guy Davenport, 1995
"Sergeant to Enyalios,
The great god War,
I practice double labor.
With poetry, that lover's gift,
I serve the lady Muses"

or in other words, he's a lover and a fighter.

However, Archilochos gets much more interesting and we get to see what he really wanted to say...

"Begotten by
His father's
Roaring farts."

(Even the Greeks farted! Oh Plato, you stinker!)

as well as... (and I warn you this may be a bit R/PG-13)

"He comes, in bed,
As copiously as
A Prienian ass
And is equipped
Like a stallion"

RAUNCHY! That's why I love the Greeks. Just kidding. Anyway, as the story goes, Archilochos wrote in iambic, which is a meter usually reserved for insults and criticisms. It was said that Archilochos was so good at doing this that he drove both his girlfriend and her father to suicide, but of course that was according to Hellenistic biographers, who lived no where near the time in which Archilochos existed.

So I guess things aren't all that bad. I don't know. I'm just nervous about my show. I just haven't done it in a long time that I'm scared I'm going to mess it up.... BADLY. Eh, it's the day after tomorrow, I still have tomorrow to work on my playlist. I'm thinking french chansons, but that would mean playing from cassette tapes, which are a pain the butt. We'll see.

I hope everyone had a nice labo(u)r day!